Love Letters
by insincerealgai
Summary: SPOILERS FOR CP! After the disastrous night on the rooftop, a frustrated Will writes Tessa an apology love letter, that turn into many. So instead of not only finding her letters to Nate, Tessa also finds his unsent letters to her. What will she do next?


Sooo, I'm still reeling from that ending of Clockwork Prince, and this is sort of like my own therapy in awaiting Clockwork Princess. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Infernal Devices.

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><p>Frustrated and feeling like ripping his own hair out, Will let out an angry breath and slammed his door behind him. Tessa had been ready to kiss him, ready to be his; and he had thrown it in her face. He wanted to go find the demon who cursed him and strangle it - give it a slow, painful death. It was the demon's fault that he couldn't have Tessa, and he clenched his fists together so tightly that he drew blood.<p>

So he dealt with this blow one of the few ways he knew how: writing letters that he would never send. Will sat down at his desk with a quill and parchment, his hand slowly starting to ache as words began to flow and form on the paper before him.

LATER...

Tessa browsed curiously through Will's scattered selection of books while Jem searched for an object to track him. There were some in languages she did not understand, particularly Latin and French, but she smiled in recognition when she spotted _A Tale of Two Cities_ in the corner of the bookshelf.

Pulling it out, she jumped in surprise as scattered parchment slipped out from the seams and floated gracefully to the floor. Bending down to pick them up, she scanned one of them. They were letters with... her own handwriting? Looking over at Jem, he thankfully had been too busy searching and hadn't noticed her reaction. Scanning through them, Tessa's eyes widened as she realized that these were her letters to Nate during her time with the Dark Sisters. _Will had kept them? Why hadn't he told her? _As she took a closer look, Tessa noticed that there were many others of the sort, scrambled within the chaotic mix of papers she gripped tightly in her hands.

However, there were a few letters that stood out from the rest. It was not her own handwriting that she recognized, but as she soon came to see - _Will's. _As she scanned the writing inquisitively, she froze as she realized it was intended for her.

_Tess,_

_I know you do not understand why I was so cruel to you on the roof. You were ready to be mine, and I yours; everything that was building up between us over the course of your stay was reflected in that moment. __I hurt you, and for that I am sorry. You are as pure and beautiful and good as an angel should be, and did not deserve all that I said to you._

_I wish we could be together... because you don't know how much I want you. At night, you are the only person I think about. You plague my dreams with your beautiful figure, and during the day, it is only you that constantly runs through my thoughts. __For the longest time, the only person I felt that I could trust was Jem. He was the only person that I allowed to care about me, because he was dying anyways. I care so much about you that I couldn't bear if you died because of your love for me, and... I'm sorry, this is out of context._

_My walls that I've worked so hard on keeping up, firm and steady, are slowly slipping because of you and the things you do to me. You have changed me, Tessa Gray, whether you can see it or not. I__ can only hope that one day, you will understand why I was so cold to you. I'm not entirely sure how to explain, and I do not know if I would ever be able to tell you._

_It was when I was twelve; a mere child. I'm sure you have heard the expression, "curiousity kills the cat", and in this case, it is true. That is all I can tell you, apart from the fact that I love you, Tessa. __I've loved you since the moment we met and I rescued you from the sadistic Dark Sisters. I don't care what you are, I would give anything if it meant that I could spend the rest of my life with you._

_Yours,_

_Will_

Tessa's hands were shaking as she finished it, and her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. Ever since their interaction on the rooftop, she had been convincing herself that Will did not care for her, and she for him.

But now, reading his confession that he was probably not counting on her to find, all of the complicated emotions that she had ever felt towards him became _real. _It felt like something had unlocked inside her heart, and she knew that she only had one task now:

To find Will and confront him about this letter and the things he was keeping from her.

"Hey, Tessa! Are you okay?" Tessa blinked, her eyes coming back into focus as she met Jem's concerned gaze.

Shaking her head, she replied, "Yes, I'm fine. Did you find anything?"

Jem's expression told her that he didn't believe a word she had just said, but had thankfully decided not to push it.

"Yeah, I did. I didn't think I would be able to, since Will only took a few things with him when he came here," Pausing to show her the dagger, Jem continued, "This was the sword that Will's father gave to him. This should suffice for tracking him."

"Alright, let's go," Tessa said, marching out of Will's room with a new air of determined grace. Glancing behind her, Tessa slipped all of the letters into her skirt's pocket when Jem wasn't looking.


End file.
